People Throw Rocks at Things that Shine
by gleekyk
Summary: some what based on Taylor Swift's song "ours" Will/Emma/Terri AU. high school days. I suck at summeries, but you should read it anyway!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I'm totally not into AU's, but this is an AU. (: Emma, Will, and Terri in high school. It will be Wemma later on. Loosely based on Taylor Swift's song "our." I hope you like it!**

"Em, you have no idea how amazing Will is." Terri told her best friend in the girl's bathroom, while reapplying her make up.

Emma did know though. She knew exactly how amazing Will Schuster was, but she didn't say that, instead she said: "I still can't believe that you and Will are… together."

Terri smiled. "I know. I never would have expected it either."

Emma wished she had Terri's smile. She wished she had Terri's everything. Her body, her hair, her eyes, the way that when she walked into a room all of the attention seemed to turn to her, not that Emma really wanted attention. She more or less just wanted to be notice… by anyone. It's hard to be anything but second best with a best friend like Terri though, ever since they first in 6th grade when they both joined the Junior Cheerios. Terri had gotten everything that she wanted and Emma had sat by, pretending to be happy that she was second best.

Terri was the head of the Cheerios, while Emma was just a cheerleader that blended in with the background. Not that Emma had much to complain about, just being a Cheerio was good enough for her.

_But now Terri had Will._

Emma had known Will her entire life, she lived next to him for as long as she could remember. When they were younger they would play outside in her tree house, pretending that it was a space shuttle and they were preparing for take off. In the winter they would build snow forts and make snow angels until their fingers and toes were so cold they couldn't feel them. Then they would go into Emma's kitchen and her mom would make them hot chocolate with marshmallows.

"One day I bet you two will get married." She would say with grin.

"Gross," said Emma crinkling her nose. "Why would I want to marry Will?" her mom would always pat her on the shoulder and say:

"One day you'll see Emmy."

Emma swore her mom must have had super powers, how else could she have known exactly the boy that Emma was going to fall for ten years down the road.

"Emma!" Terri snapped. "Are you deaf? I asked if you wanted to get pizza or Chinese tonight."

"What? Oh. Sorry. Chinese. I was just thinking."

"I hate when you do that."

Emma rolled her eyes. Terri was many things, and a dumb slut was definitely one of them.

"Can you just do one thing for me, Terri?"

"What?"

"Can you not hurt Will? He's been my friend for a really long time, and he's really is sweet."

"Why would I hurt him?" She snapped.

"Well Terri, you do sometimes forget that boys have feelings too."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I have to go to History."

Somehow, Emma was not assured by this response. Her and Will weren't as close as they were when they were six years old, but she still didn't want to see him in pain and if there was one thing that Terri could do, it was make otherwise strong boys cry.

-xxx-

Emma and Terri were giggling and gossiping over Chinese food, which was an average Friday night for the girls. Emma was just about to get up to get more General Tso Chicken when Terri said: "I have to tell you something."

"I have to tell you something," was never good when it came from Terri.

"What about?" Emma asked, trying not to sound as nervous as she was.

"Promise you won't hate me?"

"Terri, you know that I could never hate you."

"Okay, well you know how I went to Jackie's party last weekend, the one that you refused to go to because you're boring?"

"I was at my grandma's funeral, but yes, go on."

"Well Seth was there."

"Seth your ex boyfriend, Seth?"

"Yeah, duh, that's the only Seth I know. Well anyway, one thing led to another and we… we kind of hooked up, but it was totally a one time thing. It was just nice to see him after so many months."

Emma stood up, furious. "Then you give him a friendly handshake and maybe a hug goodbye. You don't sleep with him!"

"I know. I know. But you know that I can't say no to Seth when he flashes me that cute smile."

"Terri, how could you do this to Will?"

"What's the big deal, Em? I've cheated on guys before and you've never cared."

"Well Will's my friend."

"No." Terri said, standing up as well. "I'm your friend. Your best friend. Let's watch _Bring it On_ again."

"This is no time for cheerleading movies, Terri. I asked you not to do anything to hurt Will."

"Well to be fair, you asked me that before me and Seth slept together, so technically I didn't betray you."

"Yeah… Only Will."

"Stop being so over dramatic, Emmy, It's really not a big deal."

"So you're not going to tell him?"

"Why would I do that? Then he might break up with me. I don't want that to happen. We have a good thing going on."

Emma was mad, furious, but Terri was her best friend. Terri was the head cheerleader. Without Terri, Emma would really be nobody. The only reason that anybody knew her name was because she walked into the room with Terri. The Cheerios uniform wasn't what made Emma Pillsbury someone at that high school, it was Terri. Besides, it was Terri's business, and it's not like Emma and Will were even close anymore.

Even though he was _such_ a sweet guy, and _so_ cute.

What was Terri thinking? How could anyone possibly want to be with anybody else when they could be with William Schuster? Sweet, beautiful, funny, William Schuster.

Emma wished that she would have seen how wonderful he was when they were younger, then maybe things would have turned out differently.

"You're not going to tell Will what I did, are you?"

Emma sighed. "Of course I'm not."

-xxx-

Emma was close to her mom. Closer than most sixteen year old girls were to their mother, and Emma's mom could always tell when something was wrong.

"You're moping, Emma." Her mom told her the next day.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"Did you and Terri have a fight?"

"No. Me and Terri are good."

"But something _is _wrong, right?"

Emma nodded. "I guess it's just one of those days."

"Well, Emmy, you know that I'm always here. Even when Terri's somewhere else with God know's who doing God know's what." Emma's mom usually talked about Terri like that. Her mom didn't like Terri the first time she brought her home after practice one day and still didn't like her.

"_She's going to end up a pregnant drop out. I can see it already." She would say. "Whatever you do, don't let Terri influence you."_

"Mom, can I ask you something?" Emma asked sitting next to her on the couch. "I want you to tell me the truth, what you really think… don't just say what you think I want to hear."

Her mom crossed her heart. "Full honesty."

"I'm I as pretty as Terri?"

"Emma Pillsbury, you're even more pretty then Terri. I wish that I was half as gorgeous as you are when I was sixteen. I've never seen a more beautiful young woman in all my life."

Emma smiled. "Thank Mom."

She knew that her mom was just saying it, but she wanted to hear it anyway. She needed to hear that at least one person in this world was willing to say that Terri was no better than she was


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Emma does not have OCD in this fic, I forgot to disclose that earlier. I hope you enjoy! (:**

Emma wanted to tell Will. She wanted to tell him so bad. He deserved to know. If the positions were reversed then will would tell Emma. She knew that he would. It was okay though, she would just avoid him. If she didn't see him then she couldn't possibly tell him anything that she shouldn't. It wasn't any of her business. It was Will and Terri's business. They weren't sex anymore. They were older now. There were no more snow angels and hot chocolate every day. She could do this. She could go without admitting to him what she wanted to do badly. What was it that she wanted to admit? That Terri was a horribly lying, cheating girlfriend, or that she could be a much better one?

Regardless, she couldn't tell him either.

Just as Emma was thinking that he plan of avoidance was foolproof, Will walked up beside her while she was on her way to her final class of the day. "Hi Emmy." He was the first one to come up with that nickname for her. Really, it was his nickname, belonged to him. _Just like her heart belonged to him._

"Oh. Hi Will." She said, speeding up. "I'd really like to talk, but I'm going to be late for class." She quickened her pace, and nearly sprinted across the hallway. It was only Monday. Was this how it would be all week. Avoiding Will and his conversations. She loved her conversations with him. They were so meaningful and deep. They weren't anything like the conversations that she had with Terri about lip gloss and boys. Interesting and stimulating conversations were hard to come by in her social circle.

She say down in her usual seat in the back of the classroom next to Terri.

"Why are you all out of breath?" Terri asked.

"I was… running."

"Why were you running?"

"You know, just trying to loose weight."

"Oh shut up your gorgeous."

Emma smiled. It was always nice to be called beautiful by someone that looked like Terri did, even if she had told you to shut up before she paid you the complement.

Terri and Emma's friends Megan and Lily say at the table in front of them, but Emma knew that both of them would do anything to trade seats with her.

Lily had long blonde hair and she was even sluttier and stupider then Terri was. She was beautiful though, that was apparent. She batted her long eye lashed or winked those ridiculously blue eyes of her's and she got what she wanted. Megan was just as beautiful, though she looked nothing like Terri or Lily. She had dark brown hair that was shorter than Lily's, and dark eyes. Her skin was sun kissed and flawless. Emma honestly thought that both of the girls were pretty fake, but she still called them her friends. Probably because they were Terri's friends and they were Cheerios. Emma was basically obligated to tolerate them. It was okay though, because Emma knew that they didn't like her either. They didn't think that she had what it took to be such good friends with Terri, they both thought that that should be them. It was pretty ridiculous to Emma when she thought about it. Does it matter who your "best friend" is? Secretly, however, Emma wished that she was more like them. Emma wanted their beautiful hair and skin. She wanted to beautiful like the other girls around her were. Maybe if she was more beautiful then she would be good enough. Good enough for Will, and good enough for herself.

"So anyway." Terri said, leaning over to whisper to Emma after their literature teacher had started class. "I was thinking we should go to this party on Saturday. It's going to be awesome." Emma hated this. She hated when Terri talked during their literature class. Emma loved the class and found it stimulating. She didn't like when it was disrupted. She also didn't like that she had disrupted her to asked her to go to a party.

Emma crinkled her nose. "I don't like parties." she whispered back. Terri knew this.

"This party is going to be awesome though, Em. You'll love it." Emma knew that she wouldn't love it.

"I don't want to get drunk with a bunch of frat boys, besides, you shouldn't go either. What if Seth is there?"

"Seth will be there?"

"What?" Emma whispered as loud as she could. This earned her a dirty looked and "shh." from their teacher.

"Well it's his party. It would be kind of dumb if he wasn't there."

"I thought you said you weren't going to be around him anymore."

"What's the point of having an ex boyfriend who throws a bunch of wild parties if you never go to them? Besides. I never said that I was never going to be around him again. I said that I wasn't going to have sex with him again."

"But you also said that you can't control yourself around him."

Terri wasn't whispering anymore. "Well how is this any of your fucking business anyway."

"Girls!" Their teacher cried. "I'm not going to ask you to quiet down again.

Emma crossed her arms and sat back. Why was she keeping Terri's secret again? Oh yeah, because she was her best friend. Why was Terri her best friend again?

-xxx-

"So the party?" Terri asked after class. "Are you coming?"

"I… I don't know. Why don't you ask Megan or Lily to go with you. Drinking isn't really my thing."

"Fucking damn you Emma. Why are you always so fucking boring?"

Emma huffed. She hated that word.

"Why do _you _have to go see Seth?"

"Why do you care who I see, Emma. Damn it, come on."

Emma sighed. There were some things that she didn't have a choice about when it came to Terri. Well I guess she did have a choice. There's always two options with everything.

"Okay." Emma said. "I'll go."

Terri smiled. "I knew that you would! You wont regret it. I promise. we'll find you something really hot to wear and maybe you'll get lucky," she said with a wink.

Terri said "I promise" a lot, but it never really meant anything, and the thought of doing anything with any of Seth's friends made Emma sick. The thought of having sex made Emma sex. That was why she was the only Cheerio that was still a virgin. It earned her a lot of ridicule, but her heart said that it was right.

-xxx-

It felt like everywhere that Emma went, Will was there. What was so important that he had to talk to her so bad. She had to screen three of his phone calls. Did Will always want to talk to her so badly or was this just some kind of sick joke that the universe was playing on her? Now that she couldn't see him was when he wanted to see her.

If only Emma was a better liar, then this would be so much easier. Emma didn't want that though. She wanted to look like Terri, but she didn't want to be able to lie like Terri. That was a quality that she ever hoped to have. Terri had the ability to hurt someone like Will and that was something that Emma would never admire about her.

What was happening with Emma's mind these last few says. She was being more critical then she ever was. Maybe the fact that Terri and Will were together was finally sinking in. She was shown quite clearly that Will liked Terri. He was interested in girls like Terri, not girls like Emma. Why wouldn't he be? Who looked and Robin and says, "forget about Batman, I think we found a keeper here." Terri had always been someone that Emma admired, but now she actually wanted to be Terri. She wanted to take her body from her and go to Will, begging him to kiss her. And he would. Of course he would. He would think that she was Terri.

Maybe if Emma was Terri Will would love her the way that wanted him too. Maybe if she was Terri then she wouldn't have to always be reminded of what it feels like to be second best. Why was she ever okay with being second best? She didn't want to be second best anymore. She wanted to be beautiful. She wanted to be beautiful enough for Will.

-xxx-

Emma hurried to the girl's bathroom the next afternoon when Will was going after her, calling her name. Why did she have to do this? Why did she have to ignore him? What could he possibly want? Why did he need to talk to her so badly?

She went into the first stall and dropped her bag on the ground sitting next to it. She tried to cover her sobs with her hand but it was pointless. She had lost control of her emotions. She couldn't make the tears stop, just like she couldn't make her mind stop thinking everything over again and again. What was wrong with her? What had changed?

Emma hadn't felt better than she had all week then when she was on that bathroom floor crying. She was away from Terri and away from Will. She had no one to lie to and no one too impress. If only she could find a way to get away from her thoughts. The ones that were haunting her. The ones that were telling her that she wasn't good enough.

The ones that were slowly starting to kill everything that she once loved about herself.

She took up, thankful that no one had come into the bathroom during her episode. The mirror showed her that her eyes had become red and puffy and that her mascara had made its way down her face. She opened her bag and did as much as she could to cover it, until she forgot what it was she trying to cover.

Did she want to make the puffy eyes go away, or was she just trying to hide that hideous face of her's


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N This is a happy chapter! (: I hope that you guys like it! I'd also like to apologize if I make any grammatical mistakes or if I mess up the story in any way. I only do it for fun. If you're reading then thank you, continue to read and review and I'll continue to write for as long as I can! I really love the reviews! keep them coming!**

Emma usually went to Terri's house on Friday nights, but Terri had a date with Will, so that meant that Emma was home alone tonight. Her dad worked late on Fridays on her mom went to her friend, Jeanie's, house to drink wine and talk about books that none of them have read. Emma didn't really mind being alone tonight though. It was better then being with Terri. She had had a lot on her mind the last few days and it felt good to be able to sit with her thoughts.

She was half way through her pint of _Ben and Jerry's_ ice cream and on her second viewing of _Pretty Woman_ of the night when there was a knock at her window.

Emma nearly had a heart attack, and was momentarily relived when she saw it was just Will. Then she remembered that she couldn't see Will, she couldn't talk to him.

She opened the window. "Will you scared me half to death."

He gave one of his heart melting smiles. "Sorry, but I had to talk to you." He said, climbing into her room.

"I do have a front door you know."

"I didn't want to piss your parents off. It's almost 1 in the morning."

"Oh?" Was it really that late? Where had the night gone? "Well I guess they're probably in bed by now…"

"Anyway, what's been up with you?"

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, "How was your date with Terri?" She didn't want to talk to Will about why she had been avoiding him. She was avoiding him because she couldn't talk to him.

"It was good. But I've been trying to talk to you all week and you keep running away from me."

"Oh, have I? Sorry. I didn't mean too. I've just been busy." _God she was such a bad liar._

"That's okay; I just wanted to give you something. He took a seat on her bed and she followed, sitting next to him.

"What?" Emma asked.

"Well my mom and I were going through old pictures, and you'll never guess what we found? The photo album with the pictures from the day we went to the zoo for my seventh birthday. Remember that?"

"Oh my goodness!" Emma said. "That was the best day ever. I don't think that I've ever eaten so much junk food in my life. She looked down at her _Ben and Jerry's._ "Well, I guess if you don't count tonight."

"Well anyway." He pulled something out of his pocket. "I wanted you to have this." He handed her the picture. It was beautiful. They were just two smiling little kids with no cares in the world. All they cared about was that they were having a good day and that they were with each other. Emma felt envious of the little girl in the picture standing next to little Will. Her hair was curlier back then. It was before she knew what a flat iron was. Her cute little red pigtails clashed with the salmon shirt that she was wearing under her overall shorts.

Will's hair looked exactly the same, it was curlier than Emma's was in the picture, and he was missing his two front teeth. She remembered when he lost his first tooth. He lost one before her and she was jealous. She thought that loosing teeth was such a grown up thing to happen to you, and also she heard that when you lost teeth a fairy came and gave you money, that's what her older brother told her anyway.

He was wearing his favorite red shirt that he wanted to wear all the time. He never understood why it had to be washed in between. If it was up to little Will he would have slept in the thing and never have taken it off.

She remembered how upset he was with his mom when she had to throw it away, but in her defense, it had two rips, three stains and was about a size too small for him.

How did little Emma not understand that that little boy standing next to her was the person that she would grow to care so deeply for in different ways, ways that she could never tell him because she was too shy. Then she could never really tell him because her best friend was going to snatch him up.

There were so many things that big Emma wanted to tell little Emma. She wanted to tell her that overalls are no okay to wear, even on a little girl. She wanted to tell her that Terri wasn't a good friend and that she should have just stuck with Will. He would be a good friend. She wanted to tell her all about Will. She wanted to tell her that he grew up to be so handsome and funny and caring, which isn't easy to find in a teenaged boy.

She wanted to tell herself how lucky she was to be there, just her and Will, no secrets to keep, nothing to hide from him, just two kids, laughing at a zoo, the only argument over which was the best animal, the chimps or the elephants.

She didn't even notice the hot tears that were falling from her eyes until Will asked her if she was okay.

She wiped her eyes. "I'm fine. It just… It feels like it was so long ago."

"It wasn't really that long ago." He said with a smile. "Maybe we should make another trip to the zoo, you know my seventieth birthday's going to be coming up pretty soon. Maybe we could go again, exactly ten years later."

Emma laughed. There was no Terri, there was no Seth, and there was no horrible party that she had to go to tomorrow or feeling that she wasn't good enough. She was just like the girl in the picture, and he was the boy, only now they were older and they were capable of loving each other in a different kind of way.

_That doesn't mean that Will will ever love you, so don't get your hopes up. I mean, would you choose _you_ over Terri?_

Probably not.

"Thank you so much for bringing this picture."

"Yeah, well I figured that you would want to share in some of the memories with me. It's a shame you know, that we stopped doing that."

"Going to the zoo?"

"Being friends."

"We're still friends, Will."

"Well then I haven't been a very good friend. When the last time we actually spent time together? I don't think that I've been to your house in years."

"We got older." She said with a shrug.

"And you found new friends." He said with a chuckle.

"I did not!" She protested.

"Yes you did. When you joined the Cheerios and met Terri it was bye-bye Will, and hello girl world."

Emma gave him a faint smile. "I should have been your best friend forever."

"Hey, forever's not over," he said, placing his hand on her's. "And as far as I'm concerned you've always been my best friend."

"Well what about Gabe?" Gabe was Will's friend that he played football with. They were best friends like Terri and Emma were best friends.

"You're allowed to have two." He said.

"Okay, best friend. Try to keep in touch this time. I don't want to loose you again." _I want to be with you for the rest of my life._

He laughed. "I should probably head back home. I don't want your parents to wake up."

She laughed. "Thank you for the picture. I really love it." _And I really love you._

"Yeah, I do too. I'll see you in school Monday."

Emma closed the window after making sure that Will got down her house and into his safely. Then she fell backwards on her bed. Her once precious ice cream lay melted and forgotten as she starred at the picture. Nothing mattered anymore. Emma didn't care about anything that Terri said or did. She didn't care about Megan or Lily, she didn't care that she wasn't as pretty as the rest of the Cheerios or that she wasn't special in any way to the rest of the world.

She was Will's best friend again. That was all that mattered.

And she couldn't have been happier,


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I'm getting so into this fic! I really hope that you guys like it as much as I do! Sorry for any mistakes I make. I'm not a professional, just a girl with a laptop. WARNING: This chapter is pretty intense. I don't think it's M material quote yet, but this fic may get there. I'm not sure yet.**

"I have such a surprise for you tonight." Terri told Emma over the phone. Most people would be excited if their best friend told them they had a surprise for them, but Emma knew better.

"Terri, you know I really don't like surprises." Emma didn't mind surprises, she just didn't like surprises from Terri.

"Well this is a good one. I'll come over at like six and we can get ready together."

"Why don't I come to your house?"

"Why?"

"Your parents encourage you to go to frat parties… Mine wouldn't. In fact, they would probably send me to convent or lock me in my room and not let me out until I was 35 if I told them we were going to party with a bunch of college tools."

"First off, they're not tools, they're awesome. But whatever, be here at six, don't be late."

"Yeah, Terri. I'll be there."

What had Emma gotten herself into? She didn't even know the half of what was in store for her tonight.

-xxx-

Emma was wearing a dress that she definitely didn't feel comfortable in. It wasn't her's she didn't own a dress that was so low cut and short. It was, of course, Terri's. "Terri, I'm really not sure about this dress."

"Em, you totally look hot."

"I don't want to be hot. I want to be classy. That's who I am. I'm not hot, I'm classy."

"Well tonight, you're hot, so deal with it. These frat boys don't want to see a sexy librarian, they just want to see sexy."

"Like I care about impressing them."

"Well I do." Terri snapped. "So can you please just not be yourself for one night."

If Terri had wanted someone who wasn't Emma so bad why hadn't she brought Megan or Lily like she asked her too. They would have no problem acting like total sluts because it wouldn't be an act.

"Okay. Are you ready to go?"

"Last chance to rent a movie and order a pizza." Emma offered.

"No way. You look way too awesome to waste it on me."

That was just it though, Emma didn't look awesome. She look terrible. She looked like one of those women that she always secretly made fun of. Slutty black little dress, too much make up on. Even her hair looked slutty. "Alright." Emma said. "Lets go."

They got a ride from Terri's parents. "We're probably not going to be able to drive home." Terri said. Not that Terri or Emma has their license. Will was the only one of the three that did. That made sense, seeing as he was the oldest. 4 months and 22 days older than Emma. Terri just made it seem that they needed a ride from her parents because they were drinking because she didn't want to be seen as the little kid who's mommy had to drop her off to the frat party.

It was just what Emma has imagined it to be. There were drunken tools all over the front room, some were already passed out on the couch, some were screaming and being obscene. Terri took her hand and pulled her over to the punch bowl where Seth stood with another boy.

He was attractive. Had dark hair and muscles bulging out of his shirt. He was wearing a casual T-shirt and jeans which made Emma feel like she was extremely over dressed.

"Hey Seth." Terri said, giving him her special smile that she reserved only for her future breakfast-makers.

"Terri." He said, giving her a hug. "Hey Emma."

Emma ignored his greeting, asking herself why she had come to this place to being with.

"Emma, this is my friend, Zach. This is Terri's friend that we were telling you about." The boy called Zach smiled at Emma.

"You weren't lying." He said. "She's smoking."

"I am standing right here." Emma said, annoyed, wishing that she was wearing a turtle neck, or even her cheerios uniform would be more conservative that what she currently had on.

He gave her a smug grin. "My apologies." he said. "Do you want a drink?"

"No thank you."

"Come on, Emma." Terri said. "Don't be such a fucking loser."

"Fine." Emma said, bitterly. "I'll have one drink."

"We'll go get you the good stuff from the kitchen."

Zach and Seth went to get the girls drinks from the kitchen. "Come on, Emma don't screw this up." Terri said when they were alone. "I think Zach really likes you."

"I think that Zach really wants to get laid tonight."

"So. He's a real catch, Emma. He could probably have any girl in this room. You should be lucky that he's even looking at you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Lets face if Em, you're no me."

Emma wanted to rip her head off. She wanted to scream at her and make a scene. She waned to yell and cry and throw a complete fit. Emma wasn't like Terri? She knew that she was nothing like her. She didn't have to be reminded. She knew that she didn't have the perfect hair and skin and body. She was just plain old boring, Emma. She knew that.

Emma stormed away. She really didn't want to be alone at this party, but she couldn't stomach being around Terri right now. She needed to be by herself for a minute, so she found the first room that was empty, which happened to be a bedroom. Judging by the twenty _Corona _bottles and posters of swimsuit models, she assumed Seth's.

She closed the door and did what she did best. She cried. Why was she there, why did she look the way she did? Was it really too much to ask for to be pretty? She just wanted to be pretty enough that people didn't say things like she was lucky that some guy wanted to have meaningless sex with her because it was the only way that any guy would go near her. Okay, that's not exactly what Terri said, but what's what it felt like. Was she really that hideous?

She looked into the mirror, at her pathetic tear-stained cheeks, and her pathetic average lips and pathetic average body. Everything was so pathetic and average. She picked up her purse and took out her make up. Applying and reapplying every inch of her already over-done face, in hopes that maybe she would look beautiful by the time she was done. Maybe she would look like someone else. She was so caught up in the process that she didn't even notice someone come in.

"Don't put more make up on on my account. You looked fine before." Zach said from behind her. His voice started her and made her jump.

"I didn't hear you come in."

He handed her her drink. If he noticed that she had been crying he didn't say anything. She took a long hard sip. She wasn't an alcohol drinker, and had no idea what she was tasting, but it tasted so good as it rolled down her throat, burning the whole way down.

"Take it easy." Zach said with one of his smug smiles. "We have all night."

"Oh yeah… well.. Have you seen Terri around?"

Zach shrugged. "She was with Seth, probably still is."

"Terri has a boyfriend, you know." Emma said defensively.

"Yeah, and Seth has a girlfriend." He shrugged. "No big deal."

"And you? Do you have a girlfriend?" She took another sip of her drink. She wasn't hating the conversation that she was having. She didn't like Zach, she knew that. And she didn't want to sleep with him, she definitely knew that. But there was something inviting about being able to talk to a complete stranger.

"I'm not really a one girl kind of guy." He said with a smile.

"That didn't really answer my question… but okay. I'll take it."

"How about you? Why hasn't some guy swooped you up yet?

"Because most guys aren't one girl kind of guys.

He laughed. "Well your right about that."

They talked, and it actually wasn't that bad. Emma wasn't sure how long they had been talking for, but she knew that that drink was starting to kick in. She tried to stand up but nearly fell back over.

"Damn." She said. "what was in that drink? I know I'm not a drinker, but I only had the one. It must have been strong."

"Yeah, well you know, a little of this and a little of that. Anyway, I think that we've had enough talk, don't you?"

"Yeah." She said. "I really should find Terri."

"Terri's fine. She's with Seth."

"I know but… I think I'm ready to go… home."

"The party's just begun." He said with a smile.

"I really… I just want to go home."

"Not yet." He said with a smile, putting his arm around her. He pulled her close and began places hot kisses all over her lips, and then her neck.

"Stop!" She insisted, trying to push him off.

"Come on, Emma." He said into her neck. "Lets have some fun tonight."

"N-No. I don't want to." She said, trying as hard as she could not to burst into tears.

He ignored to protest and continued to kiss her, his hands were all over her body. The feeling of his hands all over her made her feel like she was going to explode. She didn't know if it was him, the alcohol or both that was making him feel this way.

"Stop!" She screamed as loud as she could. This startled him into covering her mouth with his hand. She bit down until he pulled his hand away.

"You psycho fucking bitch," He said. He struck her across the face, making her head spin. The he grabbed her forcefully by the arm. "you better watch yourself, little girl."

She was shaking out control, not knowing what was going to happen next.

"You should be thankful that I'm even giving you that time of day. You're worthless."

_She knew that._

"You're nothing."

_She knows._

"You're disgusting."

_She knows._

She kicked and hit and screamed with all of her might, until she found herself out of his grasp. She somehow managed to stumble over to the door and make her way out, finding her purse on the way.

She had tears dripping off her chin and she used walls, tables, and anything that she could find to keep herself from falling down. She didn't want to find Terri. She didn't even want to look at Terri right now. Had she really tried to set her up with a guy like that? What was she thinking?

She somehow found herself outside, sitting on the front steps. She had to call someone. She couldn't just sit here all night. Her parents? No way. Her older brother? He was nearly an hour away at college. And he was probably just as wasted as she was. She was still only sixteen, most of the friends couldn't even drive. She thought for a few minutes, then she decided to call him.

She dialed the familiar number, praying that he was still awake. He answered, though his voice was groggy. "Hello?"

"Will." Emma said between sobs. "Will I need you.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey eveyone! (: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it. Give feedback! I love it.**

Will had never known Emma to take a sip of alcohol in her life. That's why is was shocked when he received a drunken phone call from her, asking him-more like begging him- to come get her from a party. Luckily his parents had decided to go to his grandparent's in New York for the weekend. He would hate to have to explain why he had to bring their drunken next door neighbor home from a party.

He got in his car, as soon as he hung up the phone. She had explained where she was the best that she could under her condition, but it still took Will longer than he had hoped to find her.

She sat on the same front steps that she had when she called him too scared and intoxicated to stand or move. The tears were still falling as hard as they were before, now she wasn't afraid of Zach, or full of distaste for herself. This time she was scared that Will wouldn't come for her. He did though. She should have known that he would.

She didn't see his car pull up. She didn't even know that he was there until he came up beside her. "Em, are you okay?"

"Thank Goodness that you came!" She said, she attempted to stand up so she could give him a hug of gratitude, but as soon as she did everything starting spinning to the point that it felt her head would explode, so she sat back down.

"Damn Emma, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." she mumbled.

"How many drinks did you have?"

"Just one."

"One?"

"Yeah." she groaned. "Like an hour ago."

Will lifted her in his arms effortlessly and carried her to his car, setting her in the passenger seat.

"Emmy, I don't think that you're drunk." He said, making sure that her seatbelt was secure. "I think that someone put something in your drink."

He got into the driver's side and headed back towards their homes.

"Who got the drink for you?" Will asked, concerned.

"Zach." She said. Emma's voice now was quite different from her voice when she was sober. It wasn't as proper as it usually was, and she slurred most of her words.

"Who's Zach?"

Emma began to cry.

"Hey, Emmy, it's okay. You don't have to cry." He took one of his hands off the steering wheel and placed it on her's. "Who's Zach?" He repeated.

"He was the boy… at the party." She said, still sniffling. "He… He…"

"Did he hurt you?" Will asked concerned.

"He kissed me. And I told him no, but he kept kissing me, and I wanted him to stop, and I told him to stop, but he wasn't going to stop. He didn't want to."

"Emma, what happened next?" Will asked, becoming more worried as she got further into her story. His instincts to protect that six year old girl come out.

"Nothing." she said softly. "That's all that happened. I screamed and I hit him and then I ran away, so he didn't do anything else… that's all he did. But… But I didn't want him to kiss me." She started to cry again. "He wanted to hurt me. He wanted too hurt me bad. I know why he wanted to hurt me too."

"Because he's a dick, Emmy, that's the only reason why."

"No no no. That's not it. It's because I'm a psycho bitch. He said it himself." She wasn't in her right mind, that was for sure. Even sober Emma wouldn't believe that she deserves to be hurt. Right?

_Right?_

"No, Em, don't believe that. You're wonderful."

"I'm not wonderful." She nearly shouted. "You don't know anything about me, Will. You don't know about how un-wonderful I am!"

Will didn't respond. He figured that now wasn't the time to have a deep conversation with her. She was barely lucid enough to have a conversation at all.

"Are you taking me home?" Emma asked, after a moment.

"No." He said. "My parents are in New York. I'm going to take you to my house."

"I don't want to go home. I never want to go back. My mom will know. She always knows. I can't go back… she'll…. She'll hate me."

"Then you can live with me forever." Will said to humor her. She probably wouldn't even remember this conversation in the morning.

"Good." She said. "That sounds nice."

When he pulled into his drive way, he immediately opened Emma's door and took her in his arms.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

"Don't be." He said. "You weigh nothing."

The only time that he struggled was when he got to the front door. He carried her up to his bedroom and set her on his bed, making sure that she had enough blankets and pillows before he began to head for his parents room, where he figured he could sleep that night. "Emmy, are you okay?" He asked, when he got to his door.

"I'm fine." She said. "Because you saved me."

"You can always call me, no matter what. I'll come and find you and save you from whatever's trying to hurt you."

"Will?" She asked, tears surfacing again.

"Yeah Em?"

"Will you just hold me until I fall asleep?"

He didn't object. He just took her into his arms and held her close, leaving no room for fear to come near her. She was asleep within moments, and he followed soon after. They laid together, like the did once did during nap time, only this time it was different because Emma loved him. When they were kids they were just kids, now they were older, and now Emma loved him, **Emma loved him!** she knew that it was true because of how amazing it felt just to be in his arms that night.

-xxx-

They woke up at the same time the next morning.

"How you feeling?" Will asked.

"Like my head's about to explode."

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

She nodded. "I remember… Zach. And... I remember calling you. Thank you." She said quietly.

"You don't have to thank me." he said. "I'm just glad that you're okay."

"This is all my fault."

"No it's not, stop talking like that. Some guy attacked you. He wanted to hurt you, and that's on him."

He noticed markings on her, probably from the struggle the night before. Her eye was blacked and she had what looked like finger marks on her thighs and arms.

He touched them lightly. "What he dick." he muttered.

She looked down, noticing the bruises for the first time. "What was I thinking, Will? From now on I spend my Saturday nights in my room watching _Three's Company_."

-xxx-

Emma still felt violated after her third shower. She felt his forceful hands all over her. She examined naked body in the mirror. And she thought she was disgusting before? She was sure that her cheerios uniform wouldn't cover up the bruises on her arms and legs. She hated the thought of going to school tomorrow and people asked her what happened, unless everyone already knew.

Her heart sank a little. If people knew then that would mean that Terri told them. Terri didn't even know the whole story though. She hadn't called her or tried to look for her once since Emma had stormed off. _What a great friend_.

She didn't want to tell Terri what had happened. Will she would tell in a heartbeat, but Terri was a different story completely.

She decided that she would simply not wear her Cheerio's uniform for a few days. Maybe she wouldn't go to practice either. She did feel sick to her stomach whenever she thought about last night.

Besides, she had stopped caring about Cheerios.

She had stopped caring about nearly everything


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter gets pretty intense, just to warn ya. (: I promise that it will get better though! Give it a few chapters. She had to hit rock bottom before she can get to the top. I think I'm going to change the rating to M, just to be safe! Love all my reviews. You guys are wonderful.**

"What is wrong with you?" Was the first thing that Emma heard when she walked into the school. Who did Terri think that she was questioning Emma? Emma was expecting apologies and hugs, maybe even a few tears, but this is what she got? She was beyond angry. Her blood was boiling.

Emma rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about Terri?" She asked, trying as hard as she could to keep her composure.

"What am I talking about? Do you have any idea how badly you embarrassed me the other night?"

"How much I embarrassed you? Do you know what happened to me?"

"Yeah, you chicken out before you and Zach did anything and then left with God only knows who. Zach was a nice guy, and he actually wanted you." Her eyes traveled down to her clothing. Not wearing your Cheerios uniform was the worst thing that a Cheerio could do. It was simply not acceptable.

"What are you wearing?" Terri asked in disgust.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to practice tonight."

"What has gotten into you lately?".

"You wouldn't understand. I wouldn't expect you too. I hope you had fun with Seth. And I hope that he hurts you as much as Will will be hurt when he finds out what you did."

"Oh, so you're going to tell Will?"

"Maybe I am."

"Why are you such an obnoxious prude?"

"Why are you such an insufferable skank?" That was it. That was the end of Emma Pillsbury as far as Terri was concerned.

"What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?"

"You heard me Terri, I've had to hear all of your stories, like your bragging about how disgusting you are."

"Emma, you're going to regret this. Out friendship? It's over. I don't know what I was thinking anyway. You don't even deserve to breath the same air as I do."

"I don't care about our friendship. I do care about mine and Will's though. And I guess since you and I aren't friends anymore there's nothing stopping me from telling Will."

"I dare you."

Emma walked away. She was good at walking away in situations like this, even when she was furious, she could usually remain calm, and that gave her the upper hand. None if this mattered when it came to Terri, however, because Terri did what she wanted and took what she wanted. No matter how calm she remained, her life was about to be ripped to shreds and she didn't even know it.

-xxx-

Emma hoped that the day would never end, because she knew that at the end of the day she would have to go to her literature class, and she would have to look at Terri, she dreaded it for the entire day. It wasn't that she was necessarily scared, she just knew that it would be awkward and frankly, she didn't even want to look at Terri. Luckily, she got there before Terri, and quickly made her way to sit at the front of the room by herself.

"Well look who actually showed her face." Terri said from behind her, an evil smile emerging. Lily and Megan stood behind her, both of them smirking as well. Emma did what she usually did when it came to confrontation, she looked forward and ignored her.

"Will hates you. He hates you just as much as I do. I told him everything."

This was enough to make her turn to face Terri. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on, I know that you're in love with him. That's why you're making such an effort to break us up."

"Trying to break you up?"

"Yeah, you know, that rumor you were trying to start, that I cheated on him with Seth. That was really low. Luckily, he saw right threw your lie. He trusts me."

"You told him?"

"Oh, I told him everything. I told him that you talk about him all the time and that you said that you have his wrapped around your finger. You said that you owned him."

"I never said any of that!"

"Oh? Really? Well he believed me, so it looks like it doesn't matter what you did and didn't say."

Emma stood up so that she was face to face with Terri. "What is wrong with you? Are you really that insecure?"

"Insecure? Have you seen me lately. I'm beautiful, Emma. Have you seen yourself? Will is never going to pick you, do you know why? Because you're hideous. Grow some boobs, loose twenty pounds and then maybe you'll get noticed. I'm surprised Zach even wanted to touch you."

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND ZACH!" She screamed, her entire body shaking with anger.

Terri laughed. This was wonderful for her. Emma saw the enjoyment in her eyes. She couldn't take it. She couldn't stand here and look at this person. She pushed past Terri and her mob, running out of the classroom.

Emma hadn't been out of the room for five seconds, when she literally bumped into Will.

"Emma." His face wasn't a happy one. "Terri told me everything… How could you do this to me."

"No, you don't understand. That's not how it happened."

"You think that you have control over me? I can't believe that you would say that. You know that's not true. And you don't _own _me."

"I know I don't. I never said that I did. I don't even know why-"

"I thought that I could trust you, Em!" He interrupted. "And I find out that you had some crazy master plan to break me and Terri up? I'm happy, why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you. Well I want to be, but you don't understand. That's where I was Saturday night. I was at Seth's house with Terri."

"Terri was with her mom and sister on Saturday."

"No she wasn't! She was there with me! She's lying to you, Will. Everything she says is a lie."

"I'm starting to think that maybe I made a mistake by getting close to you again. You're not that same girl that I used to know. I don't want anything to do with you. You're nothing to me anymore." with that he walked away, and those words hit her a freight train. She was a mistake. The only person left in this school that she actually cared about no longer cared about her.

-xxx-

Will hated her. She saw the hatred and the hurt in his eyes. It was the worst feeling in the world, to know that it was her on his mind when he was in such pain.

She wasn't sure what it was about the shower. Maybe it was that the water was so loud that no one could hear her sobs. Maybe it was that the water washed away her tears as they fell. Showers were the perfect place to have breakdowns, and breakdowns are usually caused by over thinking, and she was surely over thinking every little thing that had happened that day.

Everything filled her head at once. Last night her life was great. Okay, it wasn't great, but it was tolerable. It was good enough. She was friends with Terri, not that losing Terri as a friend was much of a loss, but if she had just said nothing, apologized like she usually did when Terri yelled at her, instead of threatening her then she would still have Will. She wondered what her fight with Terri would determine about her spot on the Cheerios. She didn't want to give that up. She truly enjoyed the feeling she got when she was performing in front of everybody It wasn't about being able to wear short skirts and the popularity. That was why Lily and Megan were Cheerios. She did it because she loved to do it.

She looked down and she saw the bruises. They reminded her of what she already knew, and that was that she was worthless. The sound of everyone's voice who had ever told her that sang in her head. Then she heard the sound of Terri's vicious laughter, louder and louder. So happy that Emma was slowly breaking down. So happy that she had the one person that Emma loved under her thumb.

Emma wished that she could say that everyone was wrong, that they didn't know anything about her, but that would be a lie. They were dead on about everything.

She was worthless. She didn't wan t to hurt Will, that was the one thing that she didn't want, and yet, she still managed too.

_No. Terri did that, you had nothing to do with that._

_No. You made Terri do it. You left her no choice. You can't back a person like that in a corner._

_No. Terri's awful._

_No… You're awful._

She couldn't decide who's side she was on, everyone who hated her or her own. She couldn't decide who she hated more, Terri, or herself.

No matter how hard Emma cried, the tears didn't seem to help her. She saw her razor out of the corner of her eye. It was sitting on the edge of the sink.

No. She was not going to be one of those people.

But she deserved it.

But she was not going to be one of those people. She didn't want to be weak. She wanted to stay strong.

…But she deserved it.

She took it in her shaking hands and made a small slit on her arm. Pain never felt so good. She never felt so good. She made another one, this time, deeper and longer. She didn't realize how much built up resentment that she had for herself, but it showed it's self in the feeling she left when she was laying her bed that night.

For the first time in a week, she felt like she was back in control of her life again.

And she liked it.

**A/N I tried not to go into too much detail. I hope that you guys liked it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Such a busy day, but I wanted to give you guys a short chapter. Thank you for all the reviews. This is a happy chapter. (: After the last chapter I figured that we all needed some a positive one. Sorry though, the next chapter wont be so uplifting. **

The last thing that Emma wanted after her moment of weakness was to see her mother. It's not that her mother wasn't supportive, but she didn't want her mother to see her the way that she was. That was why when she heard a knock on her door, she quickly made sure that her wounds were covered and pretended that she was asleep, not keeping in mine that it wasn't even 7:00 yet.

"Emma." Her mother said, opening the door after her third knock.

Emma was horrible at pretending. She was never made to be an actress. She opened her eyes. "Hi mom."

Her mother sat at the edge of the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… uh… why do you ask?"

"I'm your mother, Em, I can tell when something's bothering you. We can this back and forth game all night, or you can tell me what's going on."

"Terri and Will and I are just in a little fight." She said, trying to play it down as much as she could."

"What did that bitch, Terri do?"

Emma giggled a little. It wasn't often that her mother would swear, and it was always a little entertaining when she did.

"You know, the usual Terri. Me and her were in an argument, and then she told Will all of these thing that weren't true and made me out to be a horrible friend, but I never… I never have tried to hurt either of them."

"You're a good person." Her mother reassured her. "Whatever Terri says, remember, she's only saying it because she knows that no matter how hard she tries, she'll never outgrow that ugly spirit that she has. She knows that no matter what she does, you will always be the more beautiful person."

"Thanks, mom." Emma said, a small yet sincere smile forming on her face.

"No matter what happens, you'll always have me."

Emma knew this, it had always been in the back of her mind. Her mother kissed her forehead. "If you're hungry, come get some pizza. I ordered your favorite."

"Thank mom." She said.

When she looked at her mother, she saw a reflection of herself in her eyes, and it was beautiful. For the second, when she was looking at her mother, she was perfect. This perfection, of course, didn't last, the moment that she saw the hatred in Terri's eyes, she forgot about everything else.

As much as Emma wished it wasn't true. Her enemies spoke louder then the ones who loved her


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Someone pointed out that I said Will was seventy. Haha. That was a mistake. I meant to say seventeen. I thought that I would add Sue in this fic! Continue to R&R 3 I proofread quickly. Sorry for errors. Another busy day!**

Emma had never been someone who was bullied. This new lifestyle was completely new to her. Since she was eleven she had been best friends with the most popular girl in the school.

Emma expected everything that came to her over the next week of school. She expected the pushing and the name calling, but it didn't make it any easier. She kept her head high though, making sure that Terri didn't know that she was killing her. She took her anger out on herself instead.

And Terri did think that what she was doing wasn't affecting Emma, but instead of discouraging Terri, it was only as if someone had thrown gasoline on her fire.

Terri was not the kind of person who would be okay with her words not hurting someone when they were intended to kill.

The truth was Terri really wasn't who was hurting her. All she was going was giving Emma the ammunition that she needed to hurt herself.

-xxx-

"Emma. I really wish that you wouldn't have started this war." Terri said to her during their lunch period. Of course Emma was alone, but Terri had her trusty steeds by her side, Lily and Megan. "I really didn't want to hurt you that bad, but you really gave me no choice."

"Terri, you can't hurt me. You can call me every name in the book. I'm the one in control here."

And in control she was.

Terri smiled. "Now now. I don't think that that's true, you see, because I know who you are and I know how to break you."

_Not as badly as I can break myself._

"I can kill you."

_Please do it now._

"I hate you."

_I hate me too._

"Terri." She said out loud. "Nothing you say can hurt me."

"What if I say that you're pathetic? What if I say that you're nothing? What if I say that you're never going to be as good as me, no matter how hard you try? You will always and forever be the same pathetic, disgusting excuse for a human. You might as well give up now. End it for all of us."

No. Giving up was too easy. She decided there that Terri was right. She should end it. She owned that to everyone in her life that she hurt. She wasn't going to just let herself go like that though. She deserved much worse than that.

She was going to make sure that she hurt herself in every way possible before she went through with what she decided then and there she was going to.

She hated herself. She hated herself more than Terri ever could, and she wanted to make sure that she hurt herself more than Terri could.

She did hurt herself that night. In the shower, as she always did. A long deep cut from the top of her thigh to right before the bend in her knee.

For a minute, when she touched the self-inflicted wound, she felt calm and peaceful. She knew that she had this power over her life. She had the strength to hurt herself.

_Or was it weakness?_

Regardless, it was something that was her's, and no one could take that from her. Not even Terri.

She felt everything around her grow serene as her head started to sway.

_So much blood._

_Too much blood?_

Everything went black, as she faded away, landing with a thud, on the shower floor.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ "Emma, are you okay?" Her mom said, worry in her voice as she pounded as the bathroom door.

Emma opened her eyes, and she re-entered reality.

"Emma!"

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. I just dropped the shampoo bottle."

"Emma, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure, Mom. I'll be out in a minute."

As far as Emma was concerned she was okay. She went to bed, feeling better than she had in a long time, making herself forget that tomorrow was sure to bring her back down.

-xxx-

Emma wanted to go to Cheerios practice, but the cuts and bruises that were beginning to finally fade were visible when she wore her Cheerios uniform. That was why she turned it in one day, clad in her usual long sleeved shirt and jeans. It wasn't like she had been to Cheerios practice since her fight with Terri.

"I'm sorry Coach Sylvester." She said, as she handed the uniform into her. "I just really don't think that I can finish the season."

"Sit down, Red." She said, not looking up from her journal as she wrote in it.

"I… I really should be going; my mom's waiting in the parking lot." She said, although she sat down anyway, Sue could be a very intimidating person, usually when she told you to do something; it was your pleasure to abide.

Sue ignored her protest and set her journal down. "Terri is evil. We all know it. What more do you expect, I trained her."

Emma didn't say anything; she just looked down at the seam of her shirt, which seemed to be particularly fascinating to her.

"You're a good Cheerio. I don't say that a lot, because there are few people that I can say it to and mean it, but you are, Pillsbury. That's why I want you to take this uniform back and show that over-tanned bimbo who the real bitch of this squad is."

"I really can't Coach Sylvester. I'm sorry."

"I think you can. Maybe you don't want to, but you can."

"Fine," Emma said. "Then I don't want to."

"I thought you were better than this, Red. I really thought I saw a young Sue Sylvester when I looked into your beady little eyes."

"Well I'm sorry, but I'm not you. I'm not strong like you are…"

"You're not like me, that's for sure, but maybe the problem isn't that you're not strong. Everyone else could just be stronger."

"Then everyone else is stronger and I can't handle to be around them because… I'm weak."

"I never thought that you were weak, but after this conversation I see that you are."

And she was growing weaker by the minute.

"There's a lot about me that you don't understand." Emma said.

"Spoiled little rich girl who's always gotten everything she wanted and is now a little upset because something in her plan to slide through high school went astray? I have news for you. Most people deal with their whole lives what you've had to deal with for only a few short days. They learn to deal with it."

"I _am_ dealing with it."

"By becoming a quitter?"

"There's a lot about me that you don't understand Coach, and no offense, but I don't really think that I would want you too. I have to quit Cheerios so that I can deal with the pain in my own way."

"Sounds like a cop out."

"I don't care what it sounds like to you. I know what I have to do." She got up and walked out.

She knew what she had to do. And she would do it.

It was only a matter of time.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I feel like this chapter is kind of sudden and fast. Sorry. ): but I hope you like it anyway!**

The last thing that Emma ever expected was to be wanted by a boy. That was why when Gabe, Will's best friend and a football player, asked her to go on a date she was over come. She was mad at herself for not being able to wear something sexier, because of her cuts. To punish herself she added another one to her arm.

She eventually found an outfit. The perfect outfit. She didn't remember feeling this good about herself in a long time.

She looked in the mirror after she put the finishing touches of her make up on. She was wanted by someone.

"Emma!" Her mother called up the stairs, she came down quickly, knowing that Gabe must be at the door. She came down to find him in her foyer with her mother, roses in hand.

"This gentleman had brought you flowers." Her mother said with a smile.

Emma was important. Important enough to receive flowers, beautiful ones at that, from a boy, a beautiful one at that.

Emma swears that at that moment she fell in love with that boy. She was of course, in love with the way that he made her feel more than him.

-xxx-

The thing about boys are that as easily as they can steal your heart, they can break it. Emma didn't care that Terri hated her, she was even beginning to come to terms with how Will felt about her. Months had passed, and Autumn turned into Winter. This gave her a better excuse to wear her long sleeves to hide what she had done to herself.

She slowly decreased her cutting, more and more until there were no fresh wounds on her skin, only scars from her past.

Emma was finally happy, and she had Gabe to thank for that, and she did every day. She told him how much she loved him, even though Will refused to talk to him because he considered being with Emma as the ultimate betrayal.

He noticed her scars occasion, but never said anything about them.

As Gabe and Emma's relationship grew, their fights grew more frequent.

-xxx-

"I saw you looking at that guy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Who is he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw him." He yelled. "Who is he?"

"Gabe, do you really think I would cheat on you?"

"I think you're a slut who would do anything if she thought it would end well for her."

Then they made up.

-xxx-

"It's your fault that Will doesn't want anything to do with me!" Gabe accused. "You couldn't have been a better friend to him? Why do you have to be so manipulative?"

"Gabe, that was a complicated situation!"

"Well you lost me my best friend."

"I did not!"

"If I had never met you then Will and I would be cool right now!"

"I love Will too."

"So you're saying that you'd rather be with him and I'm just the guy who you can get, so I'm the one that you accepted."

"It's not like-"

He shoved her hard enough for her to fall back and hit her arm on his coffee, before she could finish her sentence. "I don't want to fucking hear it Emma. I know the truth."

Then they made up.

-xxx-

"Are you ever going to stop being prude?"

"I'm just not ready to take that step yet."

"Or are you just not sure that I'm the one?"

"No. That's not it, of course you're the one."

"If I was the one then you would be ready. Thanks, Em. Sorry that I'm not Will. Sorry that I'm not good enough for you."

"You are good enough for me.'

"Then prove it." he said, pushing her body against the wall, touching every inch of her with his calm and steady hands. He left hot kisses down her neck. "Prove it to me."

She felt like it was Zach that had her against this wall with his hands all over her, and that scared the shit out of her. "Stop!" She screamed.

He let go of her and took a step back. She thought that he was going to let it go when he laid his fist into her left eye.

Then they made up.

-xxx-

Emma's literal scars were starting to heal, finally, when new bruises began to surface on her body. Finally when Emma though that she was good enough, she was shown that she really wasn't.

That was why she turned back to the comfort of her razor, cutting herself for lost time. A boyfriend who hit her was better then no boyfriend. At least her and Gabe were happy most of the time. The only time they ever fought was when she made him mad.

That's what he told her.

That's what she believed.

She was the lucky one in this relationship.

-xxx-

Emma stopped being happy. Her mood was worse than it had ever been.

The last thing that she expected when she heard a knock at her back door was to see Will standing there.

"Will. Hi." She said, trying to hide her excitement. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to uh… talk. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." She said, stepping aside to allow him in."

"I'm still really disgusted by what you did, I want you to know that." She nodded, forgetting that she didn't do anything. "But I want to let you know that Gabe is still a good friend to me and I don't want you to get in-between that."

"I never wanted to get in-between your friendship."

"Well you did." He snapped. "But I decided that I can accept the two of you together if it means that Gabe and I are friends again."

"That will really mean a lot to Gabe." She wanted to hug him. She wanted it to be her that he was missing so dearly, not Gabe.

"I should go." he said with a shrug. "Terri's going to be over any minute." She felt a surge of jealousy run through her bones. Why? She had Gabe now, she didn't need Will. _She loved Gabe._

"Okay. See you around?"

"Probably not." He admitted, walking away.

It felt like he'd just slapped her harder than Gabe ever had.

"Wow, seriously Emma?" She heard from behind her.

"Gabe?"

"You couldn't wait to see your boyfriend? You had to do it when you knew I was coming?" He grabbed her arm roughly. "how the fuck could you do this to me? \"

She learned that is was usually best to keep her mouth shut when he was in this sort of mood.

She learned to accept the kicks and the slaps, the punches, and the shoving. It made it quicker and easier.

She learned to accept it as he called her a slut, whore, and bitch.

She even started to believe that the thing he said were true. Why would he lie to her? After all he loved her.

And she loved him.

And she loved her razor.

The only thing she didn't love was herself.

Her pathetic, worthless self


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I'm almost done! I think I'll probably add about four or five more chapters. It will get better, I promise! Enjoy! (:**

Emma loved Gabe so dearly. She couldn't believe that she could love someone as much as she loved him. Or did she love him? Maybe she didn't love Gabe at all, she just disliked herself more than she ever had before and was just confused.

Regardless, she wasn't willing to loose Gabe, no matter how much he hurt her.

She almost had forgotten about how bad it was at school, she remembered every time she saw, Terri though.

"Emmy Wemmy." she said, her usual smile plastered on her face. Emma figured that she would let it go in a week or two like she usually did when she found a victim. She underestimated her hatred.

"Terri, it's getting so old. It's all getting old."

"I don't think so." She said, grinning. "I think it's still just as fun as it ever was. It must be awful to know that Will can forgive Gabe, but not you."

"I know I didn't do anything."

"Well Will doesn't."

"One day Will is going to realize what an awful person you are and everything you've done and it will all be over, until then… His loss." She walked away, proud of herself, because for once she actually sort of believed what she said was true.

-xxx-

Her positive mood didn't last long, however, Gabe made sure of that. Another fight about something so stupid and generic. They all seemed to blend together, all the fights. Emma even started to wonder if maybe it wasn't all her fault after all.

Gabe reminded her every fight, though. It was the hate that he spewed at her that hurt the most. She could take a punch, hell she'd done worse to herself, what really hurt was the things that he was saying as he hit her. That she couldn't take, because those were all the things that she feared he would think of her.

Emma always just wanted the fights to end, which was why she closed her eyes and pretended like she was some where else, she imagined sometimes that she was with Will, making snow angels, only she wasn't six years old any more. She was sixteen, almost seventeen, and they were best friends, like she so badly wanted them to be.

"Emma, I don't know if I can handle you anymore." He said, her blood on his fist.

"What are you talking about, Gabe?"

"I don't think that I can handle you anymore. There is just so much wrong with you."

"I know. I know there is but please don't be saying what I think you are." Her voice was stricken with panic.

"I don't want to do this anymore. You turn me into this total dick."

"I know!" She screamed. "I know everything that's wrong with me! You don't have to remind me."

"Then you should understand why I'm done with you." He didn't understand what he did when he walked out and left her like that on the floor of her kitchen, covered in her own blood and tears.

She stayed there until her mom came home. "Emma, oh my God, sweetie, what happened?"

She didn't stop crying to answer, but she didn't have to, because she knew that her mother already knew.

"Did Gabe do this?"

She responded with a simple nod. "It's not his fault though, Mom, you can't blame him."

"Like hell I'm not going to blame him."

"No. I made him so mad, that's why he had to do it." She said through her sobs.

Her mother took her chin with her hand and looked into her eyes. "Nothing you did gives him the right to hurt you like this."

"I don't have to worry about that anymore." She said, "He left me."

"Well he's going to have to have a lawsuit on his hands. I'm going to call a lawyer."

"No, please don't." She grabbed her mother's hand. "You don't understand, he'll hate me more. You can't."

"Emma, he's not the one that should hate you. You should hate him. Why are you trying to defend him?"

"Because, I told you. This is my fault."

"Stop saying that. This isn't your fault. Go take a shower, I'm going to call a lawyer."

"If you do I'll never forgive you."

"I have a feeling that one day you will, but if you have to be mad at me instead of yourself, then I'll accept it."

She was still mad at herself, though, even though it was nice to have someone to share the blame. She stood up, her pain was turning to anger.

"You've completely ruined my life." Emma said, with the dramatic effect that most teenagers had. Her mother called the lawyer anyway, knowing that she knew what was best for her.

Her mother didn't understand that by sending her to take a shower was daring her to punish herself. She didn't even bother to turn the water on. She picked up the razor, and frantically cut her arm. Over and over until she couldn't see her skin anymore, just blood. She didn't care that it was dripping all over her mother's rug. She didn't care she was screaming and crying loud enough for the entire house to hear, all she cared about was that she got what she deserved. And this was what she deserved. Right?

Her mother knocked on the bathroom door. "Emma, are you okay?"

"No!" She screamed. "I'm not okay. Are you so blind that you can't see that?"

"Emma, can you unlock the door?"

"No!" She cried, slamming herself against the door. "Just go!"

Her mother didn't want to leave her, but she could tell that reason wouldn't work with Emma right now, so she left. Emma waited until she could no longer hear the clicker of her mother heels, until she turned the water on and got in the shower, washing blood off of her body was becoming her new favorite thing.

Emma didn't know this, but her mother locked herself in her own room after the confrontation and cried. She wanted to help her young daughter so much, and she wished that she would let her. She knew that she did the right thing by calling the lawyer. She just wished that her daughter thought so too.

She wondered if her daughter would ever forgive her.

-xxx-

Emma laid in her own bed for hours, crying. Her mother hadn't bothered her since she had screamed at her through the bathroom door, she knew that she was awful to her and that she was just trying to help.

Emma hurt one of the last person in her life that loved her. She couldn't take everything that she had done to everyone she loved. She wanted to be six again.

Her mother would read her a story and tuck her in at night. She would always tell her how much she loved her, even when she made mistakes. Her father would sit her on his lap and sneak her candy that her mother had told her she couldn't have.

Her older brother and her would build forts in her living room and pretend like they were pirates in their giant ship. They would giggle and in an instant become two noble townspeople on their way to slay the evil dragon.

She also had Will. It was something amazing to have a best friend when you're that young. Most people have friends, but few have best friends, the kind that you keep for life, or at least want to.

She wanted to be young again. That was when everything was so much easier. She wanted to be able to laugh again, but she was afraid that she had forgotten how. Even if she did remember, it wouldn't seem right. Nothing seemed right anymore. She wondered what her life would be like if she had never joined the Cheerios. She wondered how differently her life could be if she just would have done a few things differently.

She didn't like hating herself. She wished that she didn't have cuts all up and down her arms and legs. She wished that she could wear something other than what she had to in order to hide her scars.

She wanted to be able to call Will whenever she had a problem, now she had no one left. Not even her mother she figured, after the way that she treated her tonight. It wasn't getting better, it was getting worse.

She wished she had never grown up, because it hurt much more than she thought it would when she was younger. She wished that nothing had changed. She missed that little girl with the red pigtails and jean overalls. That little girl was so much stronger than Emma was.

Terri couldn't have hurt that little girl.

Gabe couldn't have hurt that little girl.

Will _wouldn't _have hurt that little girl.

She looked out her window and saw as the first snow began to fall over Ohio. She closed her eyes and decided then that it wasn't going to get better…

And that she wasn't strong enough to watch as it got worse


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: SHITS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN! Sorry, it might get kind of confusing near the end.**

Emma got ready for school that morning like it was any other day. No one had to know what was going to happen that night, not her mother, not her former friends. No one had to know until it happened.

Emma's mom had seen the bathroom last night. She knew that all of that blood didn't come from the injuries that Gabe gave her.

Emma thought about how this was the last morning she would have to put make up on to hide the bruises left by someone who swore he loved her. It was the last time she would have to worry that someone would see the cuts on her arms.

It felt like she was about to be set free.

Emma came down the stairs like it was any other day, but it wasn't any other day to her mother. Her mother saw that something was wrong.

"Emma, honey… What happened last night?"

"What are you talking about?"

"There was a lot of blood on the bathroom floor…"

"Oh… yeah, that was from my lip." Her mother didn't believe it. She knew that her daughter was covering something up. She rolled up the sleeve of Emma's shirt before Emma could stop her.

Her mother couldn't help it as she began to weep. "Emmy, why?"

"You wouldn't understand, Mom." Emma said, quietly.

"This is all my fault. I should have seen how much you were hurting. I should have seen how he was hurting you. I was supposed to protect you."

Emma hurt someone in her life again. What else was new? "No, really, Mom. This isn't your fault."

"I have to get your help." She said, circling the kitchen, talking to herself more than Emma. "I have to take you somewhere that you can get help."

"No way. I'm not going to one of those places. I refuse."

"Well I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. One day I have a perfectly happy and healthy little girl and now I see this. How long has this been going on?"

"For a while… Since I got into that fight with Terri and Will."

"Terri. I should have known ." Her mother said continuing to cry. "I always knew that there was something awful about her."

"I don't want to go, Mom."

"You have to. It's the only thing that I can think to do."

"How about I go to school today. I have a big math test, and then we can go after you get out of work." She could see her mother was thinking about it.

"We'll go as soon as I get out of work."

Emma nodded, a smile on her face. That gave her nearly two hours to end it. That was all the time she needed.

-xxx-

Will hadn't talked to Terri since he over heard her a few days ago. He over heard a conversation between her and Emma that disturbed him to the bone, and he was still trying to understand exactly what had happened.

Emma had been telling the truth. About Terri cheating on him and all, and he was so awful to her, he hurt her so bad, when Terri was the one who had been lying all along.

How fucking stupid was he.

He'd avoided Terri. He didn't want to see her until he found the right way to let her know how disgusted he was with her. And how was he supposed to tell Emma how sorry he was? How did he expect her to forgive him when he didn't even forgive himself for the way that he treated her.

Avoiding Terri didn't work well though, because she found him that morning, that usual sick smile on her face. She was always smiling, especially when others weren't. He never noticed before how sick it made him.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you didn't want to see me."

"I don't want to see you." He said, slamming his locker shut and walking away.

"What's your problem?" She asked, going after him.

"I don't want to be with someone who lies."

"What are you talking about, Will?" She asked annoyed.

"Emma didn't say any of those things that you said, did she?"

"What?"

"You were lying all along. I heard you two talking the other day."

"Well okay, I guess she didn't say those thing exactly, but does it even really matter now?"

"Yes it matters. Emma is my best friend, Terri. She was your's too at one point. Remember?"

"Seriously? You're going to chose her over me? Are you stupid?"

"Absolutely." He said, "I'm stupid for ever choosing you in the first place." He walked into his classroom, not bothering to look back at Terri who stood bewildered as she saw that all of her lies were finally crashing down on top of her.

-xxx-

Emma went straight home after school. She had it all planned out. She found a bottle of pills in the medicine cabinet from when her dad had surgery on his arm last year. It was a strong dose of pain killer, not that she knew much about drugs.

Meanwhile Gabe stormed into Will's house "You have no idea how pissed I am at that little bitch."

"Emma?"

"Yeah. She had charges pressed against me. My parents had to fucking bail me out."

"Charges?"

"Yeah. Assault or some stupid shit."

Emma opened the bottle and poured a few pills into her hand, everything was starting to feel real. More real than it had felt this morning.

"What? Did you do it?" Will asked Gabe back at his house.

"I didn't assault her. She was my girlfriend. I smacked her a bit when she got out of line but…"

"Gabe? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Oh come on. You know how Emma can be."

Will had never hated anyone as much as he hated Gabe in that moment. He'd never been in a physical fight, but he came so close in those moments when Gabe had told him what he did to Emma.

"I know that she's a beautiful person and she doesn't deserve that."

"Since when do you think that?"

"Why would you even think that that's okay? I… I don't think I can stand to look at you anymore?"

"Seriously? You don't want to be friends because of something that happened between me and Emma? Why is it even any of your business?"

Will's eyes began to sting as he realized why he wanted to beat the shit out of Gabe right now. "Because I love her." He said softly.

Emma had a hand full of pills. She never liked taking pills when she was sick, but this was different. She didn't even need a glass of water, she just put them all in her mouth as if they were candy, and swallowed.

She wasn't sure how many she had swallowed, but it wasn't long until everything began to fade.

Will paced his bedroom floor, thinking about everything that was coming to light today. Terri was the one who had hurt him, Emma had done nothing but try and protect him. Emma was beautiful, Emma was wonderful, and he hurt her.

How could she ever forgive him?

Emma looked in the mirror that sat across from her bed, reminding herself why she did this, reminding herself that it was for the best and she couldn't back out now. She couldn't call her mom and tell her what she had done. She had to go through with this. It was her only option. The pills were kicking in, she could feel herself fading faster and faster.

He needed to tell her. He needed to tell her today. He couldn't let her go another day thinking that he hated her.

Why had be been such a dick to her?

Emma had never lied to him before, what was he thinking believing Terri over her? He loved Emma. He knew that he did for certain. He knew this because he felt the exact opposite for Emma that he did for Terri.

He always had.

"Emma, I love you." He practiced out loud in the privacy of his bedroom. "Emma, I love you." He closed his eyes as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Emma, I love you."

And with a bang as powerful as a thousand gunshots, Emma hit the floor


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger. Wait, no I'm not! (: This is going to be the last chapter, but thank you everyone for all of your reviews and support! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. xoxo**

Emma's mom couldn't think about what would have happened if she hadn't left work early. She couldn't think about Emma dying on her bedroom floor. She couldn't think about what would have happened if she hadn't picked her daughter's weak body up, carried her down the stairs and taken to her the hospital.

What if she had gotten home a minute later?

Emma probably would have died.

She sat, holding the hand of her unconscious daughter, trying to calm her tears. She didn't want Emma to wake up and see what a mess she was. She needed to be strong for her little girl.

Emma's eyes fluttered opened. "What did you do, Mom?" she asked hoarsely.

"I saved you, Emmy, and I would do it again. You have… no idea how scared I was. I've never been so scared in my entire life."

Emma's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, Mom. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone I just wanted this all to stop."

"I'm going to make sure that you get the help that you need. I promise. I'll do anything to keep you safe." She reached out and grabbed her hand.

Emma closed her eyes, and it all became clear to her. She only hurt her mother by hurting herself. She never hurt Will. Will would be lucky to have her, but he didn't want her. It wasn't the end of the world.

Nothing that had happened to her in these last months were the end of the world.

She was lucky. She had parents would do anything for her, what else mattered? Emma had spent too much time focusing on all of the people who had hurt her. She was attracted to them, yet she pushed her mother, the only person who wanted to help her away.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away, Mom." She said. "I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about what was going on. It would have been a lot easier."

Her mom nodded. "I agree. Next time something's bothering you, know that you can talk to me."

Emma nodded, hugging her mother. She knew that she wasn't better. She knew that she was going to have to work really hard in order to become the girl she once was again, but she was willing to work, because that Emma Pillsbury was something wonderful, and she _loved _that girl. She also knew that this was something that she had to do on her own.

For the first time in this whole ordeal, she wanted to get better. It took almost taking her own life to realize how precious it was.

There was a knock on the door and she saw Terri standing in the door way. It was the last thing that she had expected. She wasn't afraid though, not anymore. "Can I come in?" She asked, holding lilies. Emma loved lilies, and Terri knew that.

Emma's mom looked at Emma for approval. She nodded. "Mom, can you get me something to drink?" She asked. "I want to talk to Terri for a minute."

Terri's eyes were full of fear and pain. "I'm sorry." She said. "I never thought that I could push you this far… I never wanted to hurt you this badly."

"Why did you?" Emma asked. There was no resentment in her voice, she was simply curious as to why Terri did what she did.

"Because you're such an amazing person… and I wanted to hurt you. I didn't want you to be better than me… I know this sounds stupid, but people throw rocks at things that shine."

"I forgive you." Emma said, and she truly did forgive her. It was an amazing feeling, forgiveness. If she could forgive Terri, then forgiving herself should be easy.

Terri hugged her, knowing that she would never get her best friend back, but knowing that she had changed her life and the way that he looked at other people.

Emma wasn't scared of Terri and that was such a powerful feeling. She didn't care what she said, she was stronger than she was before, strong enough to begin to love herself, which can be one of the hardest things that a sixteen year old can do.

Of course, not long after Terri left, Will came. His eyes were blood shot, and his hands were shaking. "Emma… I wanted to come earlier, but I didn't know what to say or if you even wanted to see me…"

"You hurt me a lot Will…"

"I know." He said, "But there's something that I have to tell you… I messed up… big time. But I realized something. I love you Emma. I love you the way Romeo loved Juliet."

"They ended tragically… Can you promise we wont end like them?"

Will shook his head. "I can't promise anything, except that I'll spend every day showing you how much you mean to me."

"I have to… go away for a while."

Will smiled, knowing what the answer was to his unspoken question was. "That's okay. I'll wait for you to come back."

"I don't know how long it's going to take."

"I hope it's still winter. I want to make snow angels like we used to… maybe your mom can make us hot chocolate and we can sit by the fire."

"Maybe in the spring we can go back to the zoo."

He reached out for her hand, and looked into her eyes. "Emma, I love you."

She smiled at him. "I love you too."

They sealed it with a kiss, one so magical that Emma swore she saw fireworks.

They did make snow angels that winter, and they did go to the zoo that spring. Every day Emma loved herself more and more, but the thing was that she didn't love herself because Will loved her. She loved herself because she saw all the reasons that Will loved her.

When they graduated college they got married, just like Emma's mom had predicted. They had two children, Jenny and Alison. They taught their children how to make snow angels and took them to the zoo, making sure they had all of the junk food that their little bodies could take.

Emma made sure that she kissed her girls every night and told them how wonderful they were, and if they ever were upset that she was there, just as her mother was always there for her. She knew that it didn't mean that the girls would go to her all the time, but she hoped that they would when ever they could.

Emma still had the scars on her body to remind her of the way that she felt once, but she saw this as a good thing. She was reminded every day of her mistakes and how much they hurt herself and those around her.

She looked at her loving husband and beautiful kids and saw how lucky she was.

Emma and Will got everything that they ever wanted, and it only took a major bump in the road for them to find each other. In the end it was all worth it though. Emma thought about how wonderful her life was and smiled at Will who was sitting across from her. Will smiled back, thinking the same exact thing.

It didn't come easily, but in the end, they living happily ever after.


End file.
